Blaze 1995

Christmas poem

2009-12-14T21:00:19Z

My Christmas Wish For You

My Christmas wish for you, my friend
Is not a simple one
For I wish you hope and joy and peace
Days filled with warmth and sun

I wish you love and friendship too
Throughout the coming year
Lots of laughter and happiness
To fill your world with cheer

May you count your blessings, one by one
And when totaled by the lot
May you find all you've been given
To be more than what you sought

May your journeys be short, your burdens light
May your spirit never grow old
May all your clouds have silver linings
And your rainbows pots of gold

I wish this all and so much more
May all your dreams come true
May you have a Merry Christmas friend
And a happy New Year, too ..

SPN season 3

2009-11-27T22:17:22Z

I got Spn season 3 for £10 today from Tesco.
It has all the extras too. bounces

Autographed Jensen Ackles & Jared Padalecki Banner

2009-09-12T13:40:26Z

Look whats up for grabs...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120468081954&ssPageName=ADME:L:LCA:US:1123

...and you get to help A Dog's Life Rescue.

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS‏!!!

2009-09-03T22:43:45Z

Just try reading this without laughing until you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun--a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized tazer. The effects=2 0of the tazer were supposed to be short-lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! (Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.)

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it...she is such a sweet cat. If I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsybitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "No possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, "Don't do it, 'dipshit,'" reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD...WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION...WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fe tal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative. IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hai r. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S. My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!

Stale bread

2009-09-03T22:36:33Z

I hit my ex with a stale slice of bread today.
It was an accident but boy did I laugh.

JDM real life daddy?

2009-04-23T13:32:54Z

I'm not sure if anyone else has seen this but I nearly chocked on my toast when I read this...

Jeffrey Dean Morgan has just found out he's the father of a four year old boy.

...I found this in the National Enquirer dated the 13th April this year.

Season 6

2009-04-18T22:27:36Z

Yay!
I've made it to season 6 of CSI.
Lets not talk about the end of Season 5, how could they do that to Nicky?

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T17:26:49Z

Sky Mag

2009-04-05T16:00:46Z

Not sure if anyone has seen this...

...so I thougth i'd share.

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-03-22T11:25:00Z

Wishing my Mum and every mum around the world a great day.

St.Patrick Day

2009-03-17T17:23:11Z

May the luck of the Irish be with you!

blaze1995 @ 2009-02-05T19:58:00

2009-02-05T20:01:54Z

Snagged from Silverspirit_17

Your result for The Golden Compass Daemon

Tough Sensitive Soul

You are a family oriented person, and you are a good friend. You are selective about who you call "friend", however - not every acquaintance makes the cut. You like to spend regular time with the people whom you are close to, but you need time to yourself, too. If you are left too long without seeing your friends and family, you wilt, and if you see too MUCH of them, you become tired and irritable.

You are a sensitive and caring person, and you are very considerate of your friends' feelings. You are easily hurt, however, and people often hurt you accidentally with off-hand comments. You dislike confrontation, and your friends often do not realize that they have accidentally hurt you. You keep your emotions bottled up, rarely showing anger, or sadness. You don't want people to know how very sensitive you are, so you hide it under a tough, calm exterior.

Your daemon would reflect your sensitive, thoughtful nature, and your tough exterior. He or she would provide you with the emotional support that you deny yourself, by not telling your family and friends how you really feel.

Suggested forms:
Gorilla, Orangutan, Gibbon, Hare, Bat

Take The Golden Compass Daemon Test at HelloQuizzy

Installing a husband

2009-01-23T16:39:09Z

I'm receiving wacky emails again.

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as Super 14 5.0, Springbok 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your
system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

Jensen Ackles

2009-01-02T13:39:00Z

*bounces* Jensen's on the cover of portrait magazine and there's a cover story to...
http://www.portraitmagazine.net/
...starts reading.

blaze1995 @ 2008-12-29T21:32:00

2008-12-29T21:50:59Z

Sorry I have not been around to reply to comments but my Mum got the results back on the 23rd Dec from the operation she had, my Mum's got cancer.

She was told that it is a small tumour and should all go with one lot of treatment. *fingers crossed*

I have so much stuff going throught my head at the moment that if I write anything else i'll just be rambling.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T10:57:26Z

Wishing everyone an awesome day!

Dragons

2008-12-16T23:19:21Z

Stopwatch_plz

2008-11-22T23:57:20Z

Sorry it's late!

Please pass on!

2008-11-10T23:40:25Z

This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.
She wants to see how many people get her poem
It is quite the poem.

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.

It! was sent by a medical doctor - Make sure to read what is in the closing statement AFTER THE POEM.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done!

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,'Hi'

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift..

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

--------------------
FORWARDED E-MAILS ARE TRACKED TO OBTAIN THE TOTAL COUNT.

Dear All:

PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know - even to those you don't know! It is the request of a special girl who will soon leave this world due to cancer.

This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will.

She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.

By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan.. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know that we can at least send it to 5 or 6. It's not even your money, just your time!

PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST.

Dr. Dennis Shields, Professor
Department of Developmental and Molecular Biology
1300 Morris Park Avenue
Bronx, New York 10461

Men love all shapes and sizes

2008-11-09T08:34:06Z

Just found this and it made me LOL!

Ladies, it's time to stop cursing your wobbly bum. And while you're at it, no more whining about your thunder thighs or your colossal calves. And those hips you think would fit better on a birthing cow? Learn to love 'em. Because the truth is, what you consider a flaw may be some guy's favorite feature. Really. There are guys out there who prefer a flat chest to a couple of D-cups. A pot belly to a set of toned abs. A shapely derriere to a tiny tush.

Next time you're looking at a magazine ad and then make the mistake of examining your reflection in the mirror, remember this: You've got your mind fixated on this ideal look. But in reality, the body type you see in ads is possessed naturally by less than 5% of females according to a study done by the Social Issues Research Centre. Wow, that's a tough goal. Let's get realistic. You're not in that 5%. But the good news is, none of your friends, colleagues or family members probably are either. So why measure yourself against Claudia Schiffer when your real standard should be your friend Kath with the wide hips or Aunt Sally with the love handles?

Still not convinced? Check out these body types and the men that worship them:

1. Juice in the caboose
Let's all give a round of applause to J. Lo for bringing back the bum. Sure, girls have had large rears since the invention of chocolate, but they always hid them in shame. They even experimented with clever fashion tricks to cover them up — ever tried the discreet jacket around the waist? Not necessary anymore. Jenny from the block changed everything when she not only let her bum make an appearance — she let it steal the show. Will, 24, has got it bad for the bigger behind, "I don't care if a girl's got a flat chest or a big chest, if she doesn't have a booty, I'm not interested." The guys that go for junk in the trunk are typically good dancers. So just like our booty pioneer, J. Lo, you can shake and jiggle all you want on the dance floor and they'll come crawling. Just get used to making introductions from behind.

2. Stacked like a library
Okay, it's pretty hard to go wrong when you're well-endowed on top. Many have speculated on men's fascination with breasts and few have come up with a logical explanation. Jason, 26, takes a stab at this classic dilemma, "Men love cool, multi-purpose gadgets, and breasts may be the best gadget of all ... they provide nourishment for the young, a place to rest a head for the pillow-less, and a hand-hold for the ... people who are neither young, nor sleepy." So what type of guy is most drawn to these wiggly wonders? All guys. And that's the plight of the D-cup: You never know if he likes you or the twins. The A-cups think that's a fair trade.

3. Petite power
The tiny girls who still get ID'd in the pub really have the pick of the litter. With no height constrictions, they can date guys from 5'5 to 6'5. I'm talking about girls who long to hear their men describe them as "gorgeous" and "sexy" but have to settle for "adorable" and "cute." Who are the guys flattering these miniature maidens? Fellas with a thing for much younger girls. They love it that their women are pint-sized and that their feet don't touch the ground when they sit in chairs. Sure, it's okay if your man wants to keep you young at heart. But if he asks you to put on a Catholic school girl uniform, run away.

4. Skeletal supermodels
The tall, thin and gorgeous girls often complain that they can't get a date. Maybe guys are intimidated. And why shouldn't they be? The supermodel is the highest level on the dating barometer. Think about it. People always measure against the supermodel: "He can get any girl he wants — even a supermodel," or "Well, she's pretty, but it's not like she's a supermodel," are just a couple of common rumblings. Or maybe supermodels go dateless because men don't know what to suggest for a date. I mean, these girls obviously don't go out to eat. But don't worry; the supermodels of the world will never be lonely. They have an ample supply of rock stars and rich men who love to show them off.

5. Va-va-va-voluptuous
Do you have it all? Big boobs, big hips and a big butt to boot? No need to hide those curves under a muumuu — flaunt your hourglass figure. "I like a girl with some substance," says Luke, 31, "I don't like to worry that I'm breaking a girl when I hug her." Don't worry, Luke. Voluptuous girls are unbreakable — they're natural women. We salute the Lukes of the world for keeping it real. Seriously. Women's bodies have to go through excruciating events like child birth and post-breakup pizza and ice-cream binges. Which, by the way, are both caused by men.

6. Buff and tough
Athletic girls may have tight bums and a six pack but like our friends, the supermodels, they can sometimes intimidate guys. How can a guy date a girl who could potentially kick his ass? Or worse, beat him in a fierce game of thumb war? "I dated this girl who did triathlons," confesses Mark, 26, "I'd try to train with her but I couldn't even keep up. I always felt pathetic around her." And that's why the best guy for a jockette is a jock. That way the two of you can run, play and compete to your heart's content. And the rest of us can just feel lazy.

If you're still thinking, "There's no way someone could ever love my poochy tummy," then that's because you don't love it. If you carry yourself as if you're the sexiest women in the room, men will notice. So love your big booty. Love your flat chest. Love your thunder thighs. Then he'll love them. And while you're doing all this lovin', learn to love his pot belly too.

*bounces* there's hope for me yet!

Today sucks!

2008-09-22T14:18:37Z

Woke up this morning feeling very groggy,bloody cold.
My nose keeps running and my throat is sore from coughing.

Another reason why today sucks!

I found a young white cat dead on the pathway not far from my daughters school.
My friend and I asked around to see if anyone knew where it belonged but no one knew.
Me being me I could not just leave it laying there.
Poor little thing didn't have a collar on, so I wrapped in the towel I had in the boot of my car and took it to the vets to see if it was microchip.
Sadly it didn't have a chip.
*fingers crossed* the owner will go into the vets looking for there cat.

Why don't people microchip or tattoo there pets?

Season 4

2008-09-18T19:36:45Z

I've been so good this time I have not looked at or read a single spoiler for this season.
I don't even know any of the episode titles.
*fingers crossed* I hope both of our boys are back because i'm going to be on this computer as soon as I get back from the school run tomorrow morning looking for it.
That's if I sleep tonight but in the mean time this is...

...PRICELESS!
All we need now are photo's of there wedding and first born. LOL

Callum Keith Rennie

2008-09-14T22:50:37Z

Wishing you an awesome day!

New Comm!

2008-08-05T19:59:54Z

Just joined a new comm called spn_impala_love, hope it will help my addiction for all things impala.

I did start trying to build Metallicar out of lego but it is quite difficult to make so I have given up for a while.

Asylum 2008

2008-08-03T20:36:30Z

Silverspirit_17 and I was asked to say some thing about Ten Inch Hero while at Asylum this year.